Wait! What? Drew is Dead, But No, He's Not!

This recap includes events that transpired on Friday. Proceed with caution.

The big question of the week was “Who Shot Drew? Twice!” NuNuLuLu jumped the gun (pun intended) with her clickbait article on the life and death of the Congressman. But don’t worry! She’s on the case asking questions of the staff at the hospital.

I gotta admit, Mama Snark and I didn’t see this happening quite so soon. It was a short week but we covered a lot of ground quickly. We even got to the next day! I was sure we would have dragged out the evening another two days.

Kai and Trina actually had something to do this week as Kai saw the error of his ways, then helped Trina break into Drew’s house to get the evidence he has on her mom. Somehow in the melee, Kai got ahold of it and they burned the evidence as Stella was knocking on the door.

“Is something burning? I think I smell smoke!” Stella says to Trina and Kai. It reminded me of the old Moms Mabley joke:

"Do you smell something burning?” says one old woman to the other.

“Maybe we're walking too fast?" replies the other old woman.

JASON MAY HAVE A T.B.I., BUT HE’S STILL SMARTER THAN MOST PEOPLE!

Jason figured out that if Britt was calling him on the burner phone, something must be wrong, so he high-tailed it back to The Five Poppies. Guess he understood some of that “gry*%rikamuc*+” Thank goodness he’s quick, too, as he jumped out of the line of the assassin’s fire, overtook him, then found a note in Britt’s room that led him to the lab. What did he see there? Tune in Monday!

BACK TO OUR VICTIM, WHO GOT SHOT IN THE BACK:

"What fear lurks in the hearts of men, the Shadow knows!"

People were looking for clues to who did it from the shadow cast across Drew’s body. Many thought it was Willow’s haircut, but we know that they actually cast someone to play “The Shadow”. I wonder how that looks on an acting resume!?

Whoever did the dirty deed, it was decidedly cruel. First shot brought him down, then the person got up close to fire another shot into his back.

Hey! Another surprise! They got to the next day on Friday.

PRICELESS REACTIONS:

Sonny took Diane out for coffee to strategize. Diane had a little sly smile on her face when she mentioned Drew was shot.

Sonny did a “what the…?” gesture when Anna said she would have further questions down the line and Sonny responded he would bring his lawyer, to which Anna responded, “I would expect nothing less.”

IN OTHER NEWS:

Brennan showed Collette “la porte”. Anna had a cow. By Friday’s end, Brennan knew “ze jig, she is up” with Collette and pointed a gun at her, demanding she tell him who she is in cahoots with.

Joss and Vaughn have been tied up now for about two weeks (I know, it’s only been like maybe two days in Croatia, but if these two don’t get out of there and those tennis whites soon…)

Speaking of those tennis whites…

THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO HMMMM…

1.) For being tied up for a few days, Joss and Vaughn’s outfits are remarkably clean.

2.) Kai’s moral compass isn’t that sharp. He was letter of the law with Drew, but forgives Trina’s mom for protecting her (even though what she did was illegal).

3.) Where the hecky darn does Isaiah live and how did Portia get into his bedroom? That entire sequence came out of nowhere. At first I thought it was a dream, because they were acting very chummy for someone who just told Isaiah she was committed to her marriage.

4.) If Drew was shot in the back, why is he on his back when they bring him in and are prepping him for surgery?

5.) If Not Tad Martin wanted to talk to NuNuLuLu in private, why did he do it at The Port Charles Grill?

6.) If Curtis is not answering Stella’s calls or texts, why didn’t she just call or text Trina to ask about his whereabouts, instead of running over to her apartment?

7.) Drew was hemmorhaging blood yet I did not see much blood on the operating gloves.

SPEECH PATTERNS: Anna’s constant “Yah?” at the end of a sentence really bugged me this week; Collette saying “pwotegé” like she’s Elmer Fudd.

RANDOM THINGS: This is the first time Kai and Trina have been interesting since, well, EVER!; Jacinda showed up (literally) on Portia’s doorstep while Nina was there. She, of course, wanted money from her “friends”.

THINGS WE LEARNED THIS WEEK: Curtis does not trust Portia anymore; Monica is so frail, according to Tracy; Tracy saw Michael parked up the street and saw him drive away; Nina is a bad improvisor; Not Tad Martin is one of Drew’s emergency contacts. Willow is Scout’s custodial guardian; Judge Heran washed up on Pier 55, directly across from Spoon Island; Diane can’t ethically help Sonny because Sidwell is a client of her firm; Scout disappeared from Lila’s camp, where she had spent the night at a sleepover. Where did she go?

SOAP TROPES: Nina lies to the police and says Willow was with her to provide her an alibi; Jason and the assassin wrestle on the floor and the gun goes off. Who got shot? Well, certainly not Jason.

WHO HAS KEYS TO DREW’S HOUSE?: According to Kai, it’s himself, Scout, Chelsea, Scout’s nanny, Wanda, the cleaning lady, Willow, Alexis Davis (maybe) but there could be more.

ALIBIS: Nina and Willow are each others’ alibis; Ava and Kristina are Alexis’ alibis.

QUOTES OF THE WEEK:

“Really? Look where we are! You think the A-Team would end up here?” - Joss to P.J. Pascal, trying to convince him she and Vaughn are low-level agents.

“Okay. Well, let’s put some coffee on and make this alibi air tight. Shall we?” - Ava to Alexis about being her alibi.

“Banishing me won’t erase your negligence.” - Collette

“No, but it will lower my blood pressure.” - Brennan

THINKING OF YOU: Jason flashes back several times to conversations with Britt in Croatia; Portia dreams of when Drew was threatening her; we got our first “murder mystery” flashback as Michael remembered his chance encounter with Jacinda, the prostitute who did body shots with the Congressman. She’s back and she’s broke. So it looks like Michael may have an alibi.

EASTER EGG: Two shots rang out - similar to the infamous “Who Shot J.R.?” murder mystery on Dallas in 1980.

MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!: Chase slipped in a haircut sometime between Friday’s episode and Tuesday, within the same scene (him talking to Willow at the Nurse’s desk).

MURDER MYSTERY WRITING: “So this investigation into my Auntie isn’t going away, unless Drew does.” - Curtis to Alexis; Curtis also emphasizes that Drew would be “dead wrong” if he thinks Curtis is going to stand by while he goes after his Auntie; Carly finds out that Drew and Willow are back together after threatening him; Michael tells Carly on the phone that Drew has no idea how quickly circumstances can change; Alexis and Curtis both swear to protect their families since Drew has crossed every line and he can’t be allowed to do that again;

ANNA’S LIST OF SUSPECTS: Alexis Davis, Carly Spencer, Michael Corinthos, Sonny Corinthos, Curtis Ashford, Willow Tait, Nina Reeves.

DEFINITELY NOT SUSPECTS: Jason is at the Paris airport; Kai and Trina are elsewhere in the house; Sonny is with Dante; Carly went running to Jack.

WHO DUNNIT?: Stella thinks it’s Curtis; Tracy thinks it might be Michael; Nina and Willow think the other one dunnit; Portia and Nina were also giving each other the side eye.

FASHION: Carly’s blouse clip was a thing of beauty.

NAME DROPPING: Terry Randolph; Yuri.

THINGS I WAS GLAD ABOUT: I like when soaps do the “fake you out before the commercial break” trope. Dante shows up and tells Kristina he’s here about an attempted murder, and, of course, she and Ava thinks he knows about Ric, but he’s there to talk to Alexis about Drew; we actually saw a full-fledged operation on this show. And not just one scene. Boy, did that remind me of the old days.

THE BROWN DOG: Nina and Portia meet there for a drink; Curtis asked Jordan to meet him there to discuss Portia.

BAD DECISIONS: Willow walked out on her shift; Trina touching Drew’s body (fingerprints!); Kai leaving the softball bat on the living room floor.

FUN FACTS: Sonny is Danny’s “first call” if anything happens while Jason is out of town; You can get a direct flight from Paris to Port Charles, New York.

So, what was your opinion of this week in Port Charles (September 2-5)?